A Very Thin Line
by schokolade
Summary: There is not a thin line between love and hate. There is, in fact, a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20 feet between love and hate. Everybody lies. HouseCuddy! ON HIATUS.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **House is not mine. If he was I wouldn't need to be writing about him. ;)

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**A VERY THIN LINE**

**Prologue **

The sun was just rising on a seemingly innocuous Saturday morning.

Cuddy groaned slightly as the light filtered through the blinds of her room. She wearily opened her eyes but the sudden onslaught of sunlight immediately caused her to tightly shut them again. Her head felt heavy and the sudden brightness just increased the pounding headache that was beginning to surface. Obviously, Cuddy concluded, she had been out drinking last night but with whom and where it was unclear. This was definitely not a good sign but her throbbing head just could not be bothered to think and wonder right now. Anyway, it mustn't have been too bad; she was in her own bed and room after all.

Normally, when someone is quite hungover, they spend a day or two or maybe even more sleeping it off but not Cuddy. Anybody who knew her knew that she was not normal. She had a strong drive and determination that was unusual and most people envied. It was this willpower that got Cuddy to her current prestigious position; the Dean of Medicine of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. However, the Dean of Medicine was not looking particularly powerful right now. She looked rather ill but Cuddy was never sick. She decided to let her self have several more luxurious minutes in bed, and then she would have to get up to take a quick shower, hastily swallow something for the headache and then off to the hospital to get some papers finished and sent.

Only Cuddy thought about work first thing in the morning… with a hangover.

Cuddy sighed at the thought of getting up. Her head throbbed painfully and she briefly considered actually taking a Saturday off but she immediately reprimanded her self for even thinking such a treacherous thought. She couldn't skive off work just because she had irresponsibility drank too much last night. Additionally, there was so much that she had to do and just not enough time to do it in.

Cuddy was resolved. She was actually going to get out of bed this time.

In the middle of this very long and complicated thought process of resolution, a grunt-like noise was made suspiciously close to her right ear.

Cuddy's eyes instantly snapped open and her head swung to the right where she saw the back of a head.

Cuddy blinked several times to make sure she wasn't hallucinating but unfortunately she hadn't drank _that _much.

She stared at the back of the head. A deep and very unsettling feeling that contrasted with the damn sunshine, settled in her. The owner of the back of that head she was gawking at was unmistakable. She had become too familiar with it by the countless times he had simply turned around and sauntered off when she was in the middle of a conversation… okay more like a lecture…maybe more of an argument.

She knew instantly with a sinking feeling who it was.

House.

Gregory. Damn. House.

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**A/N: **I know it is clichéd and has been done to death but I think that the only way House and Cuddy could possibly get together is if they were both wasted. There never going to do anything if they're both sober. They're too careful and stupid! Please bear with me and I'll try to make it different. The first chapter should be significantly longer. I hoped you like the beginning and tell me what you think. Also, if there are any grammar, punctuation or just plain mistake, point them out. I'm trying to improve my writing. Also, I'm not sure when this story is set. I only just started watching House (I know gasp! Shock! Horror!) I didn't start watching it from the beginning and then never got around to watching it. Last month I watched one episode, ran out and rented the whole season one and watched it in two days. Now, I've missed the first half of the second season (sob) and stupid Australia is showing reruns, therefore meaning I've only seen a couple of episodes of Season 2. So, if there are any inconsistencies in my story that are completely different from canon, tell me. I've read up on the episodes so hopefully everything should be okay. So I guess my fic can be classified AU. Sorry for the long AN. This will be the only one.

Thanks and please review –**schokolade**

**NEXT CHAPTER:** On the awkward factor from 1-10 how embarassing is the situation going to be? How are House and Cuddy going to act? Hehe...


	2. Chapter 1: Bedside Manner

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

**CHAPTER 1: Bedside Manner**

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_Should I stay or should I go now?_

_Should I stay or should I go now?_

_If I go there will be trouble_

_And if I stay it will be double_

'**_Should I Stay or Should I Go' - The Clash_**

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"_That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality." – Wilson_

**--------------------**

"I can hear you thinking. It's so loud it could wake up the dead," grumbled House as he turned around to face her.

His face was only centimetres from Cuddy's.

Cuddy was a woman built of patience and tolerance. She prided herself on the controlled manner she handled herself even in the most difficult and embarrassing situations or in times where she had every right to be enraged. She never let her emotions control her. It was unprofessional and useless. She did not get to the position she was in now by screaming at every incompetent idiot that passed her way (because there were way too many.) Instead she dealt with everything in a calm and composed manner.

When she was seven, one of her classmates had stolen her favourite purple pen. Instead of screaming and yelling as most seven year olds do, she civilly asked the thief if she could have her pen back. When the spoilt little girl denied that she had taken it, Cuddy still did not throw a temper tantrum. She just clearly explained the matter to the teacher and when the thief started bawling, Cuddy knew she had won. The girl was sat in the corner; Cuddy blameless and a bit smug.

When Cuddy was seventeen and as all seventeen year olds were (even the studious and slightly nerdy ones) excited about Prom, Cuddy was incensed to discover that her boyfriend had cheated on her and subsequently she had no date for Prom which was days away. Cuddy did not confront him yelling and crying, pouring steaming hot coffee all over him as she had seen happen and secretly wanted to do. Cuddy was infuriated but she wasn't irrational. No, she bided her time until she could extract a better revenge than burnt loins. She turned up to Prom with a very good looking college boy and most definitely showed that cheating bastard she was over him. She then spread a rumour that her ex-boyfriend had a sixth toe and casually slipped to his date that he had herpes. Cuddy watched satisfactorily as the arrogant smirk was finally wiped of that jerks face.

At the age of twenty eight, Cuddy discovered that one of her trusted colleagues had basically plagiarised one of her medical articles. Cuddy did not stomp up to him screaming abuse and demanding an apology. She simply worked harder, wrote more articles, ten times better than the copied one and received the credit and praise rightfully hers. So when Cuddy became the Dean of PPTH and was sitting behind her big expensive desk and someone from Johns Hopkins's called and asked 'We're thinking about hiring Harry Kravern as our head of Cardiology. You've worked with him. How is he?' she let it all out. She said everything she wanted to say all those years ago and it felt good. It felt _bloody_ good. It had taken a long time but Cuddy was patient.

Over the past decade, Cuddy had more than enough practise of perfecting the art of patience, tolerance, endurance and control. Even with House's constant attempts to unbridle her, she was _always_ triumphant or at least always projected the façade of indifference. What she did when she was in the privacy of her own office – scream and tell at yet another one of House's unethical, immoral and unprincipled procedures – did not have to be revealed to the general public. The fact was that she always seemed in control and therefore people always thought she was. This sometimes feigned confidence was what got Cuddy to the prestigious position she occupied now.

However, today was not a day of Cuddy's carefully consistent constraint. The obvious fact that she had _slept_ with House was too much for her to handle. Her ever-careful control could not suppress the myriad of shock, disbelief and horror that surged through her.

Today was the momentous day where Cuddy snapped.

It seemed as if House had finally succeeded in his not official, but universally known, life mission: to break Cuddy. And he himself was lucky enough to witness this day. He was also fortunate to be close enough to receive the full blast from the piercing scream that accompanied this significant day.

Cuddy literally jumped out of bed. Now she understood where the term came from and probably how the term came about.

She has slept with HOUSE.

This was probably the stupidest thing she had ever done. This was HOUSE! House was synonymous with annoying, obnoxious, rude – the list could go on for, well, ever if need be. She had slept with this doctor. She had SEX with this doctor.

'I wonder how he was,' chimed a forbidden thought that should never be divulged

"Unbelievably good," said House.

"What?" Cuddy yelled. Did she just say that out aloud?

Cuddy realised that House's psychic comment and unabashed appreciative stare was from her current state of undress. She yelped and pulled the sheets to cover her, but this proved just as uncomfortable at the situation before. She had reversed the situations; now leaving House in the nude. He didn't seem to mind though, stretching out a bit to give – uh wider viewing pleasure. Cuddy gawked for a second, seeing everything, before her senses kicked in and she quickly shut her eyes and whipped around.

She groaned. She had just seen House in all his glory. That's an image she'll never forget. However, there was this treacherous thought in the back of her head that teased 'Now you won't have to imagine.' Cuddy mentally slapped herself.

How the hell did this situation come about?

She still had no recollection of what happened the previous night. Obviously she had brought home a man, but not just any man. No, it couldn't be that simple; she had to bring home House. HOUSE. Probably the most risky one night stand ever. She was pretty sure he would have no scruples about publicly announcing her dirty laundry. House always managed to cause her the most horrendous problems. Damn him. Who by the way was acting like this was perfectly normal…

"Look all you want. I'm all yours," drawled House pleasantly.

"Did we – uh – sleep together?" asked Cuddy. She knew it was a ridiculous question. But maybe, just maybe they had decided to just sleep. Naked. That was as likely as House being nice to patients.

"No, we just had sex," answered House airily. "A few times," he added.

Cuddy cringed. She stared at her wall, noticing for the first time that it wasn't actually white more of a light beige. This was possibly the biggest mistake she had ever made. She had sympathised at the after effects, the awkwardness and embarrassment experienced, of a ruined relationship some of her doctors and nurses at the hospital chose to engage in but she also felt a bit superior, knowing that she would never do something so obviously stupid. However, now she could scoff at herself because she had slept with House. He was on a whole different playing field. He was different; dangerous because… she didn't even want to think why. It was easier just to not think about it. Cuddy did not think she would like the answers.

"Don't you remember throwing yourself on me? I knew you couldn't resist me. It was only a matter of time," continued House.

Cuddy squeezed her eyes tighter, hoping that when she opened them, it would turn out to be a dream. A very bad dream. A nightmare even. No such luck though. She could hear House enthusiastically murmuring a replay of last night's events. His powers of description were quite amazing really. Cuddy could feel herself heating with embarrassment. She really didn't want to remember what happened, positively sure she had played the fool. However, a blurred memory drifted, unwanted, in her mind. It was like a fragmented movie playing; nothing flowed clearly but she saw snapshots. There had been alcohol; there had been drinking and lots of it. She remembered laughing, something she hadn't done recently, and feeling the stress and anxiety seeping away with every new drink. She felt free and relaxed. There had been someone there; joking, laughing, drinking with her. House. There was a memory of stumbling out of the bar but it shifted suddenly to a long taxi ride filled with hot kisses and panted breath. Cuddy recollected staggering into her house, tripping and then giggling like a high school kid. Someone had ripped her clothes off and she had done the same. They had fallen into a soft bed. Everything was a haze of tangled limbs, incredible kisses and the feeling of ecstasy over and over again.

Cuddy shuddered. Whether it was from disgust or passion was debatable.

"I know your re-enacting our rampant night of passion. I know I'm good but I'm getting cold. Care to warm me up?"

"You're _bedside manner_ is delightful," Cuddy said sardonically. "Your rudeness and insensitivity actually translates into the actual bedroom."

"I know it's all part of my natural charm. My patients and prostitutes love me," he countered, ignoring the blatant sarcasm.

Cuddy could hear the smugness in his voice. Although she couldn't see him, her face still determinedly facing the wall, she could just imagine that self satisfied smirk. Insensitive jerk, she thought. He was winning here and knew it. She could feel the frustration and irritation that normally accompanied anything to do with House, build up, growing and ready to burst. He was baiting her; acting unconcerned, like nothing had happened. She had screamed and freaked just like he wanted her too but she wasn't going to let her embarrassment continue any longer. Cuddy was not going to let House win. She was not going to let him get to her. She could match House any day. The familiar patience and control was returning.

Cuddy always won.

"I'm going to go take a shower. I expect you to be gone by the time I come out," Cuddy said evenly and walked to the bathroom, not even sparing a glance for House.

**--------------------**

"What are you still doing here?"

Cuddy glared at House. She had finished taking her shower and quickly thrown something on, ready to forget this morning and just lose herself in work. She should have expected that House wouldn't have actually obeyed her and would take every opportunity to irritate her. There he was now; still lying on her bed with that seemingly never faltering smirk plastered on his face. Thankfully he had put on some boxers.

"What an interesting and vast collection of books you have here. I especially like the one under your bed. Trashy soft-porn. Hmm, I've always been more visually oriented. You know, I think I work better with images so I like to see it or… experience it," House said cheekily. "But I wouldn't mind having wild, rampant sex on a deserted island for a month as is so vividly described in this literary masterpiece."

Cuddy could feel her cheeks heating up. Her friend had persuaded her to read it, claiming it was the best trashy novel she had read. "A friend lent it."

"Funny how I don't believe you."

"It's hilarious," Cuddy said derisively. "I'll lend it to you since you seem to be so interested."

"Nah, I've already got enough. I'm a subscriber to all the trashiest books, magazines and videos. Just can't get enough. I know what you were doing in the shower." House grinned, changing the subject. He tended do that lot. Nothing held his interest long enough, she reflected. He was too complicated for this simple world.

"Yes I was fantasising about your hot body," Cuddy replied dryly.

"I knew it," House said gleefully.

Cuddy frowned. She would never ever admit it but she could understand why Cameron lusted after him. He was a brilliant doctor, the best at the hospital. It was amazing the way he could solve the most obscure and difficult problems that ten highly competent doctors could not. Just watching the way his brilliant blue eyes stared intently whenever his mind was thinking, trying to solve and unsolvable mystery, was fascinating. Nobody could comprehend how he ticked. He was a mystery. He was Dr. Gregory House and there was nobody like him.

"You still haven't answered my question," Cuddy finally said.

"I haven't had a home-cooked breakfast since Wilson left. I'm dying for one and hey you can cook…"

"You want me to make you breakfast?" asked Cuddy incredulously.

"Scrambled eggs and bacon," ordered House.

Cuddy stared aghast. House had the arrogant presumption that she was actually going to cook him breakfast, after all this. Scrap the endearing part. House was just plain insufferable.

"Pretty please," smirked House. "I'll have sex with you…oh wait too late."

House, seeing that Cuddy was definitely not budging conceded, "I'll go once you've made me breakfast."

"Fine and get dressed," she snapped and stalked off to the kitchen.

**--------------------**

"Yum," murmured House appreciatively as he deposited large amounts of egg into his mouth.

Cuddy just looked on in distaste as he continued to shovel food in at an alarming pace, not even bothering to close his mouth as he chewed.

Charming, she thought. I actually slept with this man.

"Hmm," she ventured. "What are the chances of you actually keeping your mouth shut about this?"

House paused for the first time since he began savagely eating ten minutes before. "Not very good. But if you're prepared to make it worth my while, I'll think about it," he added suggestively. "So what are you willing to offer?"

"Not firing you."

"No fair," pouted House. "I'm meant to get special treatment. Why else would I sleep with the boss?"

Cuddy sighed. Only House would say something as insensitive as that. But she didn't let it affect her because… it was easier like that. It was easier to act like this didn't happen, that it didn't mean anything so you didn't have to talk about it because once you discuss it, things change. Cuddy did not want things to change so she didn't even try to examine the deeper meaning behind this one-night stand. It was just sex and no one had to know so they could continue being friends.

Friends, Cuddy thought with irony.

They weren't really friends. They weren't really anything. Their relationship was different, unique, indescribable – and now it had taken on a whole new level.

"Just don't tell anyone," Cuddy sighed. "It's just confirming all the rumours and starting new ones. I don't need this. Everything will just get complicated. People will ask questions. You don't need to tell anyone."

She really did not need this. If the staff were to discover this… situation with House, well there would be a gossip mad fire, which probably would never be forgotten. Additionally, it would spark even more speculation about their 'relationship' and Cuddy did not think she could stand the knowing smirks and whispers. She could just imagine people staying, 'Ah, that's why he gets away with everything. He's sleeping with her.' She knew she couldn't handle it if people thought that House had some sort of power over her, that she was attracted to him, that she was weak and being used.

"And you don't want anyone to know that perfect Dean of Medicine got smashed and slept with the sleazy Head of Diagnostics. You're afraid of what people will say. You're afraid that they'll think you're a fool and think less of you. Well I guess I can't blame you, I mean c'mon even I wouldn't even choose me to sleep with."

"So are you leaving now?" Cuddy asked, ignoring him – partly because he was right. House had an uncanny ability to read her mind.

"Should I stay or should I go?" said House wonderingly, with a suspiciously mischievous glint in his eye. "If I go, you'll never know what sort of trouble I'll get up too."

"If you don't I'll give you double," she threatened.

"Ohh, going to punish me? I like the whips, please."

"That smugness is really such a very appealing quality."

"So I've been told and hey, it worked with you didn't it?"

Cuddy just glared. There was no reasoning with him. He just purposely made everything more difficult than it had to be.

"Going to the hospital?" House asked knowingly.

She didn't answer.

"If I didn't know better, I would thing you love the hospital more than me."

"I do."

"Everybody lies," House dismissed. He had finished now. The plate was licked clean and there was no reason for him not to leave.

"Are you going yet?" asked Cuddy, tiredly. The shock had long ago subsided and now House was just a very irritating reminder of her mistake and one that she desperately wanted to get rid of so she could just go immerse herself in work to forget about this whole incident.

"I need money," said House idly, twirling his cane.

"What?"

"I need to get home some how."

"You have money. You have lots of money. You're in one of the highest paying professions there are."

"Not with that measly sum you call a salary."

"What? You are…," Cuddy raised her hands in exasperation. There was no point arguing this. He would never leave and she had already wasted enough time this morning. "You know what? Forget it. Here," she said, grabbing her purse and chucking his a fifty. "This is more than enough. Just go."

House grinned. All it took was patience, stubbornness and persistence to get what he wanted. Or stealing. Either way worked for him.

House always got what he wanted.

He purposely slowly made his way to the front door. Cuddy, who was following close behind ready to leave, almost fell onto him when he stopped suddenly.

"Now what?" she asked frustrated.

"I want a kiss goodbye."

"You've got to be joking," Cuddy said, horrified. How did he have the audacity to demand such a thing?

"I'm not going go if there is no kiss." He stationed himself in middle of the front doorway with a determined lecherous leer on his face.

"Fine," Cuddy conceded. House was startled by the quick concession but leant eagerly forward. It was just way too easy. They were about three centimetres apart when her hand suddenly made harsh contact with House's right cheek.

"I'm not drunk now. Just know this whole thing would never have happened if I was sober and will _never_ happen again."

House pouted, rubbing the spot where she slapped him. "I wouldn't be too sure about that Doctor Cuddy."

Cuddy was about to protest when House interrupted, "Love to do this all again. Call me anytime for a repeat but I have to go now. Got a busy day of, you know telling everyone that Cuddy's actually not asexual. I have no idea who would be so immature and despicable to spread such a rumour. Bye."

With that airy goodbye House was _finally_ off but Cuddy, instead of feeling relieved, just felt worried.

He wouldn't tell, would he?

**--------------------**

**A/N:** Sorry for the long wait. It's not the most ideal situation to start writing right before exams. I had a bit of trouble with this chapter (great when considering this is the first chapter) because I had the problem of trying to squash everything in. I was practically writing the whole story in this chapter. Bear with me as this is my first fic. Trying to get the hang of it. So there was the incident which was basically the same as the Cameron-Forman plagiarising thing. I just figured that it probably happened to Cuddy by the quick but determined way she spoke about it. Thanks for all the reviews: house's phoenix, navycorpsman, FoxyWombat, rayadreamer, erdeanduncan, House Calls, HouseAddiction, eac-dudette, Steeldust-01, RogueButterfly, Kris the fanficaholic (You read my mind!), ScarlettScribble (Update your fic!), samanthaon (thanks for informing about the anonymous thingy) and Em. They all made me smile so keep reviewing please. Even if you don't have much to say, just drop a line and say hi. You don't even need to mention the chapter.

**- schokolade **

**NEXT CHAPTER (Which will hopefully be much quicker but I wouldn't count on it): **Where we learn about that fateful Friday night…


	3. Chapter 2: Never Say Never

**DISCLAIMER: **House is not mine sadly.

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**CHAPTER 2**: **Never Say Never**

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I might like you better if we slept together

I might like you better if we slept together

But there's something in your eyes that says maybe that's never

Never say never

Never say never

_**Never Say Never – Vandalism **_

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"_When two people have had sex, unless it sucks, if they can do it again, they're gonna do it again. And that's when things get complicated." – Chase_

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House slowly limped down Cuddy's block, a rare smile playing on his features as he recalled the apprehensive and shocked look on Cuddy's face before he had abruptly left. He began whistling, although he himself was not actually aware of this, as his mind was busy processing, analysing and evaluating the events of last night. House was half stunned by what happened as well. Sure, he made copious insinuations about sleeping with Cuddy, but he never really believed that it would ever happen. Not because he didn't want to, or because Cuddy didn't want to. House's perceptive eye had seen, in moments of unreserved anger (usually directed at House), naked lust in Cuddy's eye. House was certain that Cuddy hadn't gotten some for a long time. Screaming her head off at him was probably the closest she came to any sort of unadulterated passionate feeling. Now that he thought about it, it was probably the closest he got as well.

House often wondered what it would be like to sleep with Cuddy. It was a fantasy he frequented regularly. The reality, however, far exceeded any of his fantasies. After last night, well he definitely knew now that she was certainly a woman. Not that there was any doubt on his part. It was just fun to watch her seethe…and a very huge turn on.

The truth was that House was not lying when he made all his snide comments. The low cut tops really did turn him on and the way she was so authoritative and commanding or the way she screamed and yelled at him. He looked forward to their daily exchanged banter and he often purposely provoked her just to excite angry from her. Cuddy made House feel some strange unidentifiable feeling. The thing with Cuddy was she didn't try and change him...she accepted him and that was why House respected her.

House shook his head in disbelief. If he continued any further in his thoughts, it might seem that he actually liked Cuddy, in a more than just an easy target for sexual innuendos sort of way.

House, always so overly confident and self-assured for once, did not know what to think of this whole situation.

Sleeping with a colleague. It had been done before. It didn't really need thinking about.

However, this was Cuddy.

That made all the difference.

Cuddy was a pain in the arse. On that note though, she did have a very adorable arse which he was able to gratefully grope last night. However, if he was actually truthful, she was good at what she did. He admired and respected her as a Dean of Medicine. Sure, she forced him to do the dreaded clinic duty and disagreed with all of his life-saving procedures albeit they were highly dangerous and often illegal. But she basically did let him get away with anything after a little persuading. He was undeniably lucky that she was his boss. Somehow Cuddy could endure his outlandish ideas and his insults and abuse. House knew he was difficult, hell he purposely made himself difficult and he admired how Cuddy could tolerate him. Every so often, she would have her rightful little bouts of frustration and anger but she hadn't fired him.

Yet.

Cuddy valued what other people thought of her. She had a very high reputation to uphold and House was certain that if anything was to jeopardise her position as Dean of Medicine, she would have no scruples in doing whatever it was in her power to keep her job. Then again, there was the Vogler incident. Even though Cuddy claimed it the lesser of two evils, House couldn't help feel it was partly because of him. Partly because she liked him. Partly because he meant something to her. It wasn't a thought that House entertained often, scared of where the thoughts may lead, but it was there.

Cuddy didn't have to worry though. He wasn't going to tell anyone though. House was a private person and he didn't like to expose his personal life. It was no one else's business but his. However, there was something more than that. House felt a strange sense of protectiveness. He didn't want anyone to know about this… incidence with Cuddy. It was personal…between them.

House didn't want to go any further with his thoughts. To save himself any further dissecting of his recently discovered sex life… House pulled out his mobile and pressed 2.

Speed dial.

What a miracle.

"Wilson, get over here now and pick me up. I have some interesting gossip to dish. I slept with C-"

House waited impatiently for Wilson to drag his ass from what ever it was he was doing because obviously he was more important. He had no intention of wasting his hard earned fifty from Cuddy on an overpriced cab ride.

"Wow that was quick. You might have set a new record," said House, as he made his way into Wilson's car.

"Okay spill, who did you sleep with. You hung up on me!" Wilson asked, trying hard to contain his curiosity and failing miserably.

"No I didn't. The phone screwed up," House said, not bothering even to sound a tiny bit genuine

"It wasn't Cameron was it? Did you finally give into her twisted fantasies?" Wilson said, looking disbelieving at House.

"Ew, you're sick Wilson," House said, this time with sincerity.

"If it wasn't Cameron. Who else? Wait, aren't we near where Cuddy lives." Wilson eyes widen considerably with shock.

"Excellent observation there Sherlock Holmes," House snarked back. A familiar jolt of pain in his right leg reminded him that last nights events, however pleasurable, did leave its toll.

"Nooo, you didn't?"

"Oh, but I did," House smirked. He reached into the pocket, feeling the bottle he had become all too familiar with.

"No, that's impossible."

House flicked open the lid and expertly emptied a single pill in his mouth, which was actually quite impressive in a moving car. He swallowed it with amazing ease.

"Jealous?" He said, grinning devilishly.

"Of what? I don't like Cuddy," Wilson said emphasising each word. "You obviously do."

"I mean of her."

"Oh yes," Wilson intoned dully. "She slept with my man."

"I knew you were jealous."

"How is this even possible though? Did you drug her? Bribe her? Attack her?" asked Wilson seriously. Wilson had always had a small suspicion about House's feelings for their boss. Sure he insulted her daily but Wilson knew that House's abuse was his way of showing he cared. Sort of like in primary school where you pulled the hair of the girl you liked.

"Hey, I'm insulted by that. What makes you think I need to do anything to her? She just wanted my hot bod."

Wilson raised his eyebrows, not even bothering to argue that.

"Fine, she was wasted."

"You took advantage of her when she was wasted!"

"Well I was wasted too. It wasn't my fault," House said defensively.

"Sure."

"It wasn't!"

"What happened?"

"Just because you are deprived does not mean you can live through my sexual encounters," House quipped, the usual sarcasm came dripping back.

"How did it happen?"

"And people think I'm the perverted one."

"House!"

"Well…"

_----Flashback----_

Cuddy entered the crowded bar. It was around seven on a Friday night. Normally, Cuddy would still be working at the hospital however today had been a more than usual stressful day. A certain obnoxious head diagnostician had performed an illegal brain biopsy on a twelve year old child without the parents consent. It really didn't bother him that the parents had adamantly refused on the procedure. Instead he lured them out of the room while Foreman and Chase wheeled the poor kid to surgery. Understandably the parents had been furious and who had to deal with this? House? No, it was her who had to calm the screaming parents threatening to sue and publicly expose the immoral hospital. As usual House was his unbearable self and refused to apologise. Thankfully, his wild life-threatening surgery ironically saved the boys life and the parents just happy that their boy survived, decided not to sue. All Cuddy remembered though, was that self-satisfied smirk on House's face directly aimed at her when the parents thanked him.

Cuddy heaved a heavy sign of relief as she sat down for the first time all day. She really could not recall a time where she was out on a Friday night, to a bar no less.

Her thoughts were interrupted though when a very charming and good looking stranger asked if he could buy her a drink. Cuddy was a bit startled but conceded. She hadn't spoken to a man that wasn't part of the PPTH staff or a potential donor for quite a long time.

"So why so blue?" the stranger, whose name was Jeremy she found out, inquired.

"Oh, just work related stuff," she brushed off. She didn't think it was fair to rant about House to complete stranger.

"What do you do?" he asked politely. Cuddy answered, thinking at the same time why couldn't more people, namely a certain annoying and obnoxious diagnostician, be more polite. But the thought was immediately disbanded when Cuddy thought with horror that she was thinking about that insufferable prick when she was talking to this perfectly nice and normal man who was clearly interested in her.

Cuddy was really beginning to enjoy herself. Jeremy was interesting and pleasant. Maybe she could end this dry spell of hers. Maybe this day wouldn't turn out too bad. However, Cuddy really should have known that House made it his personal mission to make her life a living hell.

"Honey, there you are! Did you miss me while I was gone?"

Cuddy spun around in her chair and found a very concerned looking House. She would have thought he was actually genuine if it wasn't for the subtle glint of mischief in his eyes that she had become all too familiar with.

Jeremy looked confused.

"What do you think-" Cuddy began but was cut of by House.

"Oh you've met someone. Isn't my wife just the most beautiful and adorable women ever? I'm such a lucky man to have found her. Sorry what was your name?" inquired House sincerely.

"Um…sorry for the misunderstanding," Jeremy stuttered and slunk away, embarrassment evident on his red face.

"House, what on earth are you doing?" said Cuddy, trying to restrain her anger. Just when she thought this day could not get any worse.

"Oh sweetheart, I love you too," said House, quite seriously.

"Do you make it a priority to ruin my day?" cried Cuddy, exasperatedly.

"It's one of the tops ones along with avoiding Clinic duty and sleeping with Carmen Electra. What are you doing here? I never really pictured you in a bar scene, it was more the bed scene with lots of other women."

"To escape all the crap at work that you left. But I'm going now as you've once again successfully ruined my week," Cuddy said angrily as she stood up.

"Wait."

"Why should I?"

"I'll buy you a drink," offered House, nonchalantly, but there was a pleading look in his eye.

"You'll actually buy me a drink as in with your _own_ money."

"Yes," said House, daring to look offended.

Cuddy looked on disbelievingly.

"I have a tab."

"Paid with Wilson's money no doubt," Cuddy scoffed.

"What he doesn't know can't hurt him."

Cuddy snorted but she sat back down on the barstool.

"Hm, so Cuddy getting drunk. Now that's something I need to see."

"That's not going to happen House."

"We'll see," said House mischievously.

----

"Nup, I beat it. Worse date was when I was in college, this guy after a terribly awkward dinner, leaned over and pulled out one of my hairs and started flossing his teeth with it," slurred Cuddy.

House laughed. "What? Are you serious? Like this?" He proceeded to grab a strand of Cuddy's brown locks and run it through his teeth.

"House-" But she couldn't finish voicing her disgust because she was laughing too hard.

"Another," interrupted the bartender.

"No no, I shouldn't," said Cuddy.

"But you have to," urged House.

"Are you trying to get me drunk House?" giggled Cuddy.

"I think you've managed that one on your own."

Cuddy giggled uncharacteristically and nodded her head for the proffered drink. All rational thought had fled her mind hours ago and all she could keep sense of was this lovely relaxed feeling coursing through her right now. This freeness and openness was not a new feeling but one that had been dormant for a long time.

"What about this," House said. "Girl I dated in college-"

"What girls actually wanted to date you?"

"You did."

"Ha right."

"I saw that look the first time we met."

"What you mean the glare I gave you when you ran into me, knocking all my books out of my hands."

"I offered to help."

"If um…what were your exact words, 'I'll help you if you help me with those gorgeous hands of yours later in my room.'"

House laughed. "Those were good times."

Cuddy quietened for a moment. "They were good times," she murmured, nostalgically. They were times when her and House were actually friends: before the infarction, before the resentment, guilt and anger. Before all that, they had actually been friends, good friends. It was funny how things changed.

House's giddy laughter also began to subside, recalling similar memories as Cuddy.

"Wanna get a room?" he interrupted after a brief silence.

"I don't even like you, especially after today," said Cuddy, although not cruelly because it wasn't really true.

"You might like me better if we slept together," slurred House, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"House, that will never happen."

"Never say never," House said roguishly.

House stopped when Cuddy fell of her chair.

"Oppsy daisy," she laughed.

"C'mon, I think we better go home."

"House, I'm not sleeping with you."

"You say no but that a dangerously low cut top of yours begs yes," he leered.

----

"Whoa, how many did you drink?" asked House as he manoeuvred her into the waiting cab.

"This was your plan wasn't it, to get me drunk?"

"Yes, my life mission."

"You're a jerk," said Cuddy, but there was no anger in her tone.

"A lovable jerk though."

"No just a jerk jerk."

"You're vocabulary really astounds me."

"You're still a bastard when you're drunk. Just get in," she retorted.

"Ohh and you're still bossy when you're drunk. I love that," said House a little incomprehensibly. He stumbled into the cab, nearly tripping over the curb.

"Where to?" interjected the driver.

"My house," said House.

"No my house. It's closer. You just don't want to pay."

"You know me too well."

"Don't worry I'll pay… I just want to get home."

They lapsed into a silence as the cab started driving. House wondered idly about the potential for embarrassing Cuddy with this ammunition. But he was interrupted when Cuddy's lips attacked his. Suddenly, in the lapse of a few seconds they were kissing fervently and passionately.

It felt strange.

It felt weird.

It felt so good.

He felt her tongue run along his lips, forcing them open. Her hands were on his face, caressing them softly. She was pushing him down on the seat, pressing her body flush against his and he could feel the heat radiated from her. He could feel the sensations that he thought were lost being evoked with each new incredibly hot and passionate kiss. Cuddy sure knew how to use her tongue.

"Uh, so will I be dropping both of you here?" interrupted the cab driver, pulling up on Cuddy's driveway.

Cuddy stumbled out. She looked back and gave House a seductive smile.

House's mind was in a flurry of thought. The drunken part screamed for him to follow, that he would be stupid to not as he wouldn't be getting any anytime soon. However, there was the lingering doubt of his rational side that screamed that it would be wrong. It would be immoral; taking advantage of someone when they were drunk. But when had that ever stopped House before?

"Oh just go for God's sake," the cab driver sighed in frustration.

So with that, House followed Cuddy into her house.

_-----End Flashback-----_

"And the rest is history," said House, speculatively.

"Hey you can't leave it like that," gaped Wilson.

"Seriously why does everyone think I'm the perverted one?"

"Well so the big question is… is it going to happen again?" questioned Wilson, immune to House's insults by years of practice.

"How many times have I told you Wilson? It was just one night. It meant nothing. Just because I occasionally let you sleepover."

"Oh haha," deadpanned Wilson. "I love gay jokes. Stop avoiding the question."

"Obviously Cuddy is in denial right now. I give her two days tops."

"Because you are so irresistible," replied Wilson dryly.

"Jimmy, stop it. Enough with the flirting. Down boy."

"Do you want to do it again?" asked Wilson, interestedly.

"Well, der. Who passes mind-blowing sex?"

"That good?"

"But not better than ours. Ours will always be the night to remember."

"You know," said Wilson. "When two people have sex and it doesn't suck, they're going to do it again."

"How discerning of you Jimmy. Was that the excuse you told your wives when she found out you were having an affair? Er, sorry I just couldn't stop because the sex didn't suck."

It was spiteful. It was uncalled for. But honestly, Wilson's comment rang some truth in them and that frightened House.

"You like her," teased Wilson, opting to totally disregard his last comment. "I always knew it. It was only a matter of time."

"You knew nothing and know nothing," sneered House.

"You really like her," continued Wilson, this time in a sing-song voice.

"Shut up and keep your eyes on the road," said House, annoyed.

It was just sex right?

Meaningless sex.

It meant nothing.

It meant nothing to him and it meant nothing to her. Nothing would change. Cuddy would just pretend it never happened and well, he would just use this against her like he usually did whenever he had anything interesting.

But did House want things to change?

**--------------------**

**A/N:** I'm extremely sorry for having to wait so long for this chapter. It was very difficult to write this chapter. Trying to think like House? Impossible. Nobody knows what goes on through his head. I can only try. Hopefully I'm not too off the mark as they say. It's probably not my best piece of work but I thought I should post it up asap. Anyway, thanks for all the wonderful reviews.

**Navycorpsman:** Thanks for your review! Hehe, I can't wait for more too!

**Justlost:** Poor Cuddy indeed. House is way too evil. But that's the way we like him.

**Serena: **Wow, thanks for the long review! Yeah, House isn't the sorta person to go around telling stuff like that but then again…is he?

**Samanthaon:** Thanks for the compliment. Means a lot to me. :o)

**CrypticPassword:** Yay, I'm converting someone. Come..come over to the dark side.

**HouseAddiction:** Thanks for the awesome review! It rocked my socks!

**Synch14:** Cuddy pregnant. Now that would be interesting but I don't think it will happen. Not with what I'm planning. Plus I would have no idea how to write about pregnancy!

**Erdeanduncan:** I love the clash as well! And I have a crappy voice but that doesn't stop me from singing much to the annoyance of my family.

**Kristhefanaholic:** Thanks for the review!

**Foxywombat: **I hope this is well worth the wait as well. Thanks!

**RogueButterfly:** He is so evil. Evil Evil House. He's going to continue being evil.

**Renz:** Huddy all the way!

**mj0621:** thanks for the c2 add! Ah, the magic or..curse of alcohol.

**LVB:** I think you need to poke me with a very sharp needle to hurry me up!

**LindafromItaly:** Thanks! I try to update as soon as I can!

**DancingDivaXX**: Hehehe..thanks for the review!

Keep the reviews coming! They make me incredibly happy, more so then chocolate! If everybody who has this story on story alert reviewed it would make my year.

-schokolade :o)


	4. Chapter 3: Game On

**DISCLAIMER: **If House were mine, he and Cuddy would have more scenes together.

**--------------------**

**CHAPTER 3**: **Game On**

**--------------------**

I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
(Dirty little secret)  
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)  
My dirty little secret

**_Dirty Little Secrets – All American Rejects_**

**--------------------**

"_I'm allowed to sexually harass my boss."_ _– Cameron_

**--------------------**

Cuddy heaved a long sigh of frustration. She was sitting at her large desk in her office trying to complete urgent paperwork but unfortunately, like all weekend, her mind refused to cooperate preferring to stray to other thoughts, namely that stupid, infuriating Head of Diagnostics.

It was Monday morning and Cuddy had gotten to work early. Not that early mornings were anything unusual but there was another motive besides trying to get a head start in paperwork this time: House.

She was trying to avoid him.

Cuddy cringed at that thought. Had she been reduced to such a quivering coward to actually resort to hiding in her office? The answer was apparently yes. She did not think she was ready for the knowing smirk that would undisputedly be plastered on his face or the abundant allusions to… that night, which were sure to come. At least Cuddy was reassured by the knowledge, or maybe the more correct word was, the hope, that House would not have 'spread the gossip'. House wouldn't _really _want everybody to know his private business. He might have told Wilson, she concluded but he wouldn't have actually want the whole hospital staff knowing. However, Cuddy knew that, although House wouldn't out rightly tell, he would use every opportunity to make snarky insinuations. Normally, Cuddy was indifferent to his plentiful sexual comments; sometimes she was even mildly amused. But this time he would be telling the truth and that was something Cuddy was not ready to deal with yet.

She didn't really think she would ever be ready to admit that she had slept with House.

Why did it have to be House?

That question had been repeatedly asked. Anybody but House. Only House would make her this afraid of her reputation, her hospital's reputation and would actually have no problem in flaunting it although ironically nobody would believe him. House was the only one who would try to make it more complicated; storing the information away, then when he needed it, use it against her. Or he would just enjoy the perverted pleasure he would receive from torturing her with this sort of delicious information.

This certainly was not ideal as she was bringing in a potential donor today.

Why House? Her mind screamed again. He wasn't even attractive.

In a conventional way, she grumpily had to admit.

Somehow, that scruffy, unshaven look had worked to his advantage and so had the careless sloppy look he projected with his wardrobe of unwashed band tee shirts, jeans and shabby sneakers.

Cuddy stopped, mortified with her thoughts. House. Attractive? Never.

That was a lie and she knew it.

Cuddy had been attracted to House ever since they first met all the years back at University. Even with the blatant sexual comment he made on their first meeting, which should have secured him as a dickhead in Cuddy's mind but strangely didn't because something had caught her eye. There had been something attractive about him. Maybe it was the don't-care attitude, the self-confidence, that winning although sleazy grin or his bright intelligent eyes that gazed at everything with an analytical purpose. Whatever it was Cuddy had found herself inexplicably drawn to House all those years ago. And years, decades later she still was. He was irresistibly charming, admittedly only when he wanted to be. When he wasn't, well he was loud and obnoxious but that was somehow endearing. How that could possibly be baffled Cuddy. House was indisputably and a self-proclaimed asshole. He had no respect for anyone. He was rude and insulting and would never change. Yet, he was still admired and respected by his team, Wilson, herself and even always the patients eventually.

House had become a source of frustration that Cuddy had learned to live with and probably could not live without now. She had become so use to, and admittedly looked forward to, their daily exchange of insults: each trying to out manoeuvre the other with biting words. Their sparring might seem cruel sometimes but it was how they communicated. It was _their _thing. Cuddy didn't think she could handle it if it was to change. She had been cut out once before, she was not going to let it happen again.

It had been indescribably painful, watching from afar the self-destructive behaviour he had adapted after the infarction. The worse thing was that she couldn't do anything; only watch in helpless silence because he had made it adamantly clear where she stood. Not a friend, but merely a colleague, his boss.

Cuddy had suffered terrible guilt. She always viewed the event with ambivalent feelings. When she saw House in pain; saw his leg, the terrible scaring and the valley that now occupied where the once strong muscle had, she felt culpable. She had done this to him. She had knowingly betrayed him, so that he could walk every day in pain. Not only was their physical injuries but House's emotions had also been impaired. House's ability to trust had been severely broken and she didn't know if it would ever recover. He had become more bitter and cynical and that was hard to believe if you had known him before the infarct, which Cuddy had. It basically meant that he had lost total belief and trust in the human race.

However, sometimes she knew for sure that she had made the right decision although it had cost her a lot. He could function. He could walk. He could still be the great doctor he was. He was _alive. _That was enough to reassure her that she had made the right decision, even during the long period where he wouldn't speak to her, not even look at her, or if he did it would be to giver her a withering glare or a malicious jab.

However, over the past years, things had changed. His anger at the betrayal must have mitigated as he had begun to actually speak to her. Slowly, they progressed to a sort of friendship. House now had no problem speaking to her and sometimes there were moments of understanding between them. Yet, it was still painfully clear that they could never return to the friendship they had before the infarction. He still subtlety reminded her that she was just his boss. He could never fully forgive her of the part she played. This saddened Cuddy but she was happy, grateful for their renewed communication.

However, this tentative new relationship had now been threatened to be broken again. Cuddy once again berated herself for even entering the bar on Friday night. She should have just stayed in her office like all the previous Friday's for the last _few_ years.

Now, what would that happen to her and House's relationship?

She didn't have an answer for that.

Cuddy started for a second when her receptionist knocked on the door to indicate she was here. Cuddy smiled and sighed again. She had spent the last hour in an unproductive stupor… thinking about House. Clearly, this was not going to be a good day for her.

This was it, she thought. Cuddy set herself a resolution. She wasn't going to avoid House. She was not going to let this situation interfere with her life. She was not going to let _House_ interfere with her life.

**--------------------**

"Dr. House," called Lisa Cuddy in a very convincing apathetic tone. "You're an hours late."

She stood, arms crossed, glaring at the entrance, which House had finally decided to enter.

"Oh, you know busy weekend. Lots happened," House said, a trademark smirk plastered on his face. "Anything interesting happen to you, oh I don't know maybe on a Friday night." He looked amused, daring her to say something.

"Nothing remotely interesting," replied Cuddy in an airy voice but giving House a hard glare.

It was interesting to note that the staff just walked around this conversation, too use to the banter and blatant sexual innuendos in all their conversations to take it seriously.

"Don't get up to anything I wouldn't do," said House, giving Cuddy a sly wink.

"That doesn't help House. You would do anything," she said, raising an eyebrow in triumph.

House gave a nod of approval. That was how they did it; exchanged quips, each trying to outdo the other but both ready to acknowledge the other's good jabs.

"Ahhh, anything but screw a colleague."

With that last retort, he left, leaving Cuddy to satisfy her anger with glaring at his disappearing figure.

**--------------------**

"So how are all my lovely children," House cried sardonically, flinging open the door to his office, making a dramatic entrance. Just the way House like to do it.

The 'children': Cameron, Chase and Foreman were seated in various places around the office, trying to fill the boredom. Chase was productively bouncing a ball against the wall, Foreman reading a medical journal and Cameron sorting House's emails. They, all use to House's dramatics, spared him a glance before returning to their various activities.

"So no new cases? No one dying from some strange diseases?"

"No," replied Cameron, the only one bothering to respond.

"How inconsiderate! Now I can't show off my brilliant powers of deduction. Oh well, let's just have a girly gossip session and so each other's hair. Wow, Chase I think your hair is nearly long enough to do it in a French braid."

Chase just scowled, not being able to think of a retort.

**--------------------**

Cuddy took a deep soothing breath. She was about to meet the potential hospital donor today. The hospital definitely needed any support right now. After the Vogler debacle, the budget had been tight and with the new installation of a child wing in the paediatric section, this new donor's money was certainly welcome.

Since it was crucial to make a perfect impression, Cuddy absolutely could not afford the donor meeting House, for obvious reasons. She had taken careful precautions, conveniently setting the tour while House was on his lunch break.

She was interrupted in her reverie by a familiar deep male voice.

"Dr. Cuddy? Dean of Medicine of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital?"

Cuddy, berating herself on drifting away, looked up.

"Jeremy?" she started with a large degree of confusion.

"Um, yes. Nice to see you again. Mr. Brenan could not make it today. A last minute meeting came up, which he had to take care of. He sent me in his place. I'll be reporting back to him."

Cuddy recovered herself quickly. "I hope the traffic wasn't bad on your way over. Let me start with the tour of the hospital."

She was rambling now, talking at a rapid pace. Outwardly, she seemed calm and very persuasive but inwardly her mind was screaming at this terrible situation. How did they have a conversation without mentioning work? What cruel twist of fate was this? The man who was going to determine if the hospital was going to receive the ten million was a man who had been embarrassed and humiliated by House's little practical joke. This world could not get any crueller.

Obviously, it could though. Cuddy had just finished explaining the need for a new wing in the oncology department when she was cruelly interrupted.

"_Darling_," said House, with a look of pure mischief on his face.

"House, you're back early from lunch. For the _first_ time in your life," said Cuddy, trying to project an if-you-take-one-more-step-i-will-kill-you glare but obviously failing when House limped right up and put his arm around her waist.

"Oh it's our little friend," said House, his rapid mind immediately recognising the person from Friday night. "Sorry we're just not into threesomes."

Jeremy was lost for words.

"I know my _wife _is very attractive," continued House. "But I'm very possessive and I do have a weapon here." House waved his cane dangerously close to Jeremy.

"House, stop-" Cuddy tried to interject but was interrupted.

"If you're married, why do you have different last names?" asked Jeremy suspiciously, stepping slightly away of the maniac wielding a cane.

"You know the whole independent women thing. She's all about being in control and command. And that's not only in the work if you know what I mean," said House, lasciviously. "She's a wild thing in bed let me tell you. All authoritative and bossy and when she brings out the handcuffs-"

However, Cuddy decided House's prank had gone far enough. House was not going to cost her millions of dollars, again.

"I'm sorry," said Cuddy loudly, effectively cutting House off. "We aren't actually married. He wishes we were though."

House nodded, as if in agreement at that statement. "But we sure had hot wild sex after you left. We're in it for the kids."

"House!" growled Cuddy.

"Fine it will just be our _dirty_ little secret," said House licentiously, giving Cuddy a knowing look.

"This is Dr. Gregory House, the Head of Diagnosticians but we're currently in the middle of discussion about the actual necessity of him in this hospital," Cuddy said, giving Jeremy an apologetic look.

Jeremy just looked on silently, not understanding the complex banter between the two of them.

"All this anger, it's really just repressed sexual desire for me," interrupted House.

"DrHousewas just on his way to the clinic to complete his three extra clinic hours today."

"What? Today's my free day," protested House.

"Excellent. You can do five then," said Cuddy in an overtly courteous voice.

**--------------------**

Cuddy stepped into House's office on the intent of dragging his ass to do his extra clinic hours. Jeremy had left ten minutes ago and although they had been rudely interrupted during the middle, Cuddy thought with satisfaction that the tour had proceeded quite well. Jeremy, although not quite sure of what the relationship was between the Dean of Medicine and that strange rude man called House, was impressed with the hospital and with what Cuddy had told him. He had reassured her that he was highly in favour of the donation and that Mr. Brenan would be in touch.

"Oi Cuddy, I was just telling the ducklings here about our little late night adventure the other night. Let me tell you that all her bossiness does translate into the bedroom. Just the thing I like," interrupted a loud abrasive voice.

"House," Cuddy said warningly.

"Exactly like that. See that whole in control thing. She's like that in bed. Always has to be on top. Has to be in control but I don't mind. Like them wild and feisty."

"House, in my office now," said Cuddy sternly, shooting him a contemptuous stare before turning on her heel and stalking out.

House grinned in triumph.

"You know if you keep saying things like that people are going to start believing it," said Chase.

"What makes you think it isn't true?" smirked House before disappearing out of the doorway and following Cuddy.

**--------------------**

"Do you think it's true? Do you think they've possibly…" Chase trailed.

"Of course it isn't," snapped Cameron. "House is just trying to annoy Cuddy in his usual way."

"And this is House we're talking about. He always makes inappropriate comments about Cuddy and besides who would ever want to sleep with House. He's a cranky, manipulative bastard. Oh sorry Cameron," said Foreman innocently.

Cameron merely glared.

"Yeah I suppose," speculated Chase. "But sometimes… it just makes me wonder."

**--------------------**

"She's very horny right now. When she wants it she wants it," House said to the receptionist before entering Cuddy's office.

"What exactly are you getting at House?" hissed Cuddy angrily, after slamming the door shut.

"Why are you so angry?" he fired back.

"I'm being continually sexually harassed."

"It's never really bothered you before. Now it does because it's true," House said, making himself comfortable on Cuddy's couch.

Cuddy stared aghast. Damn House and his perceptiveness.

"Oh you're just too easy," said House, grinning. "I know exactly how to press your buttons."

Cuddy stared at the arrogant, self-assured smirk curled on House's lips. He was just trying to get to her. Annoy her. Irritate her. Cuddy was not going to let that happen. "House, I've know you for so long…too long. I've had to deal with your immature behaviour, childish antics and juvenile pranks. Sure sometimes I have momentarily lapses of control (which I think I'm thoroughly entitled too) but I've learnt to endure you."

House scoffed. "That's because I haven't brought out the big guns yet. Believe me if I wanted to I could make your life living hell."

"You may like to think that but I know how to deal with you. God knows I've had years of practise."

"Ohhh, is that a challenge Cuddy. I love challenges," said House. He stood up, now towering over Cuddy, looking her challenging in the eye.

"What if it is?" she replied with a tone of indifference but House could see the competitive glint in her eye.

"You know Cuddy, I _always_ win," he said, bringing his face closer, eyes staring intently into hers.

"And I _never_ lose," retorted Cuddy, matching his intense gaze.

"We may have a bit of a conflict of interest here," said House. "One of us has to lose."

"That would be _you_," said Cuddy, smiling.

"Well let the best _man _win," House replied, breaking the gaze and flinging Cuddy's office door open.

"It's just unprofessional Cuddy, having these midday tryst. I just feel so used," House said loudly anybody bothering to listen.

Game on.

**--------------------**

I think this was a quicker update. :o) Where have all my reviewers gone? Review please! To all who reviewed thanks!

**Prinnie: **I hope this is a quick update for you! Hehe, Greg House and Prinnie? It obviously got me writing faster so it worked! Thanks awesomely for the review and do PM to nag me about updating. I need it.

**FoxyWombat: **Trust House to have a tab in Wilson's name! Just the think he would do. Thanks for the review.

**ScarlettScribble: **Hehe..well I don't know if it will happen again ;) Thanks for reviewing.

**HouseAddiction: **So I've update now it's your turn! Thanks for the great review!

**House plus cuddy: **Thanks for the review!

**LindafromItaly: **I'll try and give you more. Thank you!

**Gimmeabreak: **Thanks for your review!

**CrypticPassword: **I read your profile and it said a House/Cam shipper so I am definitely ecstatic that you like Huddy now! I can totally imagine House pretending to be Cuddy's husband too! Heheh, thanks for your awesome long review.

**theDPG: **As I've said, if it is reminiscent of Three's A Crowd it is purely coincidental. It was not my intention. The pervert line is very similar but I did not know that until I reread it! However, House would just be the sort of person to make a pervert comment about Wilson's curiosity (and I would be curious like Wilson if I was told that news.) I can also assure you that Cuddy will not be pregnant so I hope from now on; it is not too similar, as we have passed the whole actual sleeping together bit.

I hope you liked this chapter. If you like it **review** please! All those who have me on story alert please review! All the reviews make me write faster!

**-schokolade **


	5. Chapter 4: The First Assault

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine. Enough said.

**--------------------**

**CHAPTER 4**: **The First Assault **

**--------------------**

You assault me ruthlessly  
Oh you're the best  
You don't understand you see  
Your not suppose to take on me  
You don't understand you see  
That's just how it's gotta be

You blew me off it turned me on

**You Blew Me off – Bare. Jr**

**--------------------**

"Your guilt. It's perverse, and it makes you a crappy doctor. It also makes you okay at what you do." – _House _

**--------------------**

House stepped through the threshold, entering his heaven and hell, otherwise known as PPTH. Naturally he was an hour late. There was no point of even turning up if there were no mystifying cases for his brilliant mind to solve. Today, however, there was actually a motive for House turning up to work besides his sadistic inclination and enjoyment of bullying the frightened interns and exhausted nurses.

An unusual grin adorned his features as he strode purposefully down the halls. He was going to have so much fun, he thought gleefully. This 'thing' (because there was no adequate word to describe it even in House's vast vocabulary) with Cuddy had taken an interesting turn to say the least. House was certain that this was not merely a 'game,' not something so trivial as a battle of wits or an exchange of jarring jabs. It was something substantially more than that. Something told House that after there little dip into the workplace never to do list. House, never a stickler for rules as he so often purposely broke them, felt that maybe he had toed the line too far this time…in more ways than one. This dangerous game they were about to embark on would determine the outcome of the strange relationship they had upheld these past few years.

In House's never ceasing whirlpool of knowledge, facts and thoughts, a traitorous thought voiced that he had initiated this game as a distraction from dealing with the fact that he had slept with Cuddy. He didn't even want to think about the feelings that may or _may not_ have been invoked by that night. Feelings would indicate that that night had meant something more than just sex. Feelings would mean he cared. House was not ready to care again and he didn't know if he ever would be again. House tried to shake these thoughts that were dangerously coming close to revealing unpleasant truths that he was definitely not ready for. This game was just some fun in a very dull and mundane few weeks, he thought. Plus, he always loved irritating the shit out of Cuddy. It was really what he excelled at.

"Good Morning Doctor House," addressed Cuddy civilly, breaking House from his reverie.

Was it House's imagination or was she wearing an even lower top then usual? Was that even possible? House wondered absently. Her cleavage was begging to break loose from the restricting material of her white cotton top. House could just see a trace of black lace peeping from the V-neck shirt. Dean's should not be allowed to wear something that a hooker would. Not that he was complaining. After all, it was delicious entertainment and for free. Maybe this was part of Cuddy's devious plan; distract him with her low cut tops because she knew he couldn't resist staring. House had to say though, if that was her intended plan, it was working brilliantly because he had completely forgotten about the 'game' between them, let alone what he was scheming just minutes before.

"You're late," Cuddy interrupted, "It's almost ten."

"Nearly my lunch break then."

"You'll be having no breaks, but I'll make it up to you with more clinic hours," said Cuddy dryly,

"and my face is up here."

"Who care's about your face," House said gruffly, "and the reason I'm late is that my stalker just kept ringing me all night. I screwed her on the weekend and I told her it was a mistake and one time thing but she just won't get the message."

House gave her a suggestive look.

Cuddy paused. "Sorry but I couldn't believe what your just said. You have a sex life. You never would have thought with all the drugs you keep shoving down your system," retorted Cuddy deprecatingly.

"I haven't had any complaints and chicks dig the crippled thing. I can give you specific names…" House trailed off.

"We all know that Cameron is head of your one member fan club."

"Jealous? I can give you free membership. All you have to do is perform a few certain sexual acts," House leered.

"I'm not sure you could keep up with me," Cuddy replied with complete seriousness, letting her eyes fall down for the briefest of seconds, before looking House back in the eye. House's eyes lit up and he was about to make, no doubt a highly inappropriate comment, but Cuddy did not give him time to reply as she continued with, "Thirty five year old woman has severe stomach cramps, nausea, fatigue, dehydration, fever and diarrhea for two months now. She's been hospitalised several times but no doctor can diagnose. I received an email last night from her husband who heard you have a high success rate of solving difficult cases."

"What can I say; I am known for my brilliant mind."

"I'm surprised your brilliant mind precedes that of being an insensitive jerk with an ego that could fill up a small country."

"I know some other things of mine that could fill something else up," House replied.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," responded Cuddy in a very serious voice.

"I'm also known for being a sex god, as you would know," House leered and winked.

"Your team's waiting for you," Cuddy said monotonously. She twirled on her heel and stalked away, leaving House to admire her retreating figure.

**--------------------**

"So is she pretty?"

"Who?"

"The women with the unknown disease."

"What does it matter?"

"Trust me it matters."

Cameron sighed in frustration. She had been working with House long enough to not only become familiar with his inappropriate comments but to actually expect them. However, sometimes, when all her reasoning for House's tactless comments and his general misanthropic behaviour (because of the infarction, because of Stacey, because he just has a hard time opening up to people) had failed, she had to admit that House was sometimes an unfeeling dickhead… because he could be. Who could understand the psych of Gregory House?

"So hot or not?"

"She's married."

"Spoil sport," pouted House.

"Are we going to try and save her or not?" interrupted Foreman, the irritation evident in his voice.

"Fine," sulked House, "Differential?"

"Could be Shigellosis," Cameron said immediately. "That would explain the acute diarrhea she said she's been suffering and also the fever and dehydration."

"No but the diarrehea is not bloody, it says more watery here and dehydration is quite rare in patients suffering shilgellosis," argued Foreman, "furthermore, shilgellosis is mostly common in children."

"Ahh, very valid points," House said writing on the sacred white board. "Chase don't think that you can just sit still, be quiet and look pretty and get away with not participating in class. The blonde locks don't really do it for me, I'm more for brunettes."

Chase scowled before adding, "Gastroenteritis would explain the watery diarrhea. Also explains the dehydration, fever, the stomach cramps she's suffering."

"Well sound like Chase has finally got one but really can't count on it. Do a stool studies for occult blood, WBC count and microscopy for protozoa. I'm going to pay a little visit to Cuddy."

"I think she's on her lunch break," said Cameron.

"Exactly," said House mischievously, a wide evil grin beginning to spread.

**--------------------**

House traipsed down the hallways on a familiar route to Cuddy's office. It could be said that he looked almost… happy, albeit with a shadow of mischief shading his features, if the evil glint in his eye was anything to go by. House was anticipating his imminent victory over Cuddy. The staff were wary of what seemed like a, dare they even say it out aloud, cheerful Doctor Gregory House. That in itself was never a good sign, without the added pleasantries he was throwing at people.

"Good Morning Brenda," House said, attempting an agreeable smile.

"You don't fool me," she spat, venom pouring from the words.

"I don't know what you're talking about Brenda. Isn't today such a lovely day?" House said amiably.

Brenda didn't say anything. She settled on a ferocious glare before scuttling away.

House smiled at the unexpected fun of being nice. It was nearly as fun as calling her Witch (and other considerably worst names.) Although, calling her a particular name which he could not divulge here, almost did get him bowled over with a large fist. That was fun, he remembered.

He reached her office and as Cameron had said, she had decided to take her lunch break early. He tried the doorknob but as he anticipated, it was locked; she too use to his predilection to take an unwanted snooping through her office. But the ever prepared House knew that he would need access to Cuddy's office whenever he felt in the mood for a little prying and he, smartly, had stolen Cuddy's office keys (as well as other things, she had the best stationary)and made a copy. He had returned it promptly and she was none the wiser, although she was beginning to become suspicious that he was always in her office when she was sure she had locked it. House, the ever considerate guy, was quick to remind her that she was getting old and might be loosing her memory. House produced the copied key and easily let himself in to the devil's den.

House was ready to create chaos and havoc in Cuddy's perfectly organised life and she was going to rue the day that she dared imply that she could beat Dr. Gregory House.

He sauntered over to Cuddy's desk and sat in her plush, comfortable high-back chair. He spun around in it, enjoying the feeling of power that came with sitting in the chair. The view was certainly better from her large window and at least her glass walls had blinds. Made him wonder what she did when the blinds were closed. Or what he could do to her when the blinds were closed.

His mind took a brief detour as his imagination went into work…

There would be plenty of time later, much later, he reprimanded himself. Time to get working.

House immediately went for the computer, reading her emails, laughing at the outrageous amounts of complaints about him (mostly clinic, those idiots, he thought) that Cuddy had created a folder especially for him. It had been labelled 'limping twerp.' He right-clicked and renamed it Sex-God. He was only being honest.

He made a few calls, and began to shuffle through her paperwork. Boring was the word that came first to mind but undoubtedly it was very _important_ for the hospital. He altered some files, and had some great fun with the paper shredder. He went through the drawers and really it was just too easy.

A loud sound of a door being flung open brought House back to reality.

"How the hell are you in here? I locked it," Cuddy said with a mix of suspicion, resignation and irritation.

"Magic," said House.

"What did you do?" Cuddy said, a fierce glare already spreading over her features.

House chose not to answer and just gave Cuddy his best innocent look, which really did not look very innocent at all because House is never _innocent _as Cuddy well knew.

Cuddy stalked over to where House was sitting so comfortably on her chair. "Is this some sort of plan to win that ridiculous bet?"

"I'm going to win," House said simply.

"You have a serious case and all you can think about is this stupid bet?" she asked incredulously.

"You're just trying to distract me," House said petulantly.

"Oh yes, that was the plan. Distract House with a patient who is seriously ill who might just need his help. You know me too well," Cuddy finished off sarcastically.

"Inside and out," House grinned.

Cuddy heaved a large sigh of frustration. "You are insufferable."

"In that sort of endearing way?"

"No in that i-want-to-kill-you-and-will-fire-you sort of way," Cuddy quickly retorted in a sweet voice.

"You won't fire me," House said confidently and smugly.

"Just wait. What have you done House?" Cuddy continued aghast, bending down to her bin where there were numerous parts of very important documents. "House! What the hell have you done?"

"You have no idea how suspicious that looks," House said, grinning.

Cuddy jerked up and glared. "Is that the best you have?"

"I haven't even started. Oh look who we have here," House said, his grin getting wider, waving his hand at the door.

"Who is that?" Cuddy asked guardedly.

"That's Mr. Brenan. He's here to personally look at the hospital. I must say that wasn't a very good first impression; you sexually harassing the staff. Oh what will he think?"

"House," said Cuddy warningly.

"Looks like I've outstayed my welcome," he said, lifting himself off the chair with his cane. As he passed Mr. through the doorway he whispered something that suspiciously sounded like "Trust me she is worth every cent and it looks like your paying millions."

**--------------------**

A loud menacing cry echoed through the vast hallways of the hospital. It was quickly succeeded by a rapid onslaught of the sound of a furious woman's heels.

"What havoc have you caused now?" questioned Wilson, who was standing idly with House.

"I'm insulted at that blatant accusation that any trouble must be caused by me. I mean this morning I decided to turn over a new leaf. I'm a changed man," House said while sporadically sticking his cane out and watching the poor interns either dodge or trip on the merciless piece of wood.

"Uhuh."

"I even went out and bought you a present to thank you for being such a good friend," House said.

"You bought, as in used your own money, me a present?"

"Well no, but I was thinking of it and it's really the thought that counts Wilson. Why do you have to be so materialistic?"

They were interrupted when the stomping footsteps came closer and heard at the other end of the corridor a loud yell that definitely screamed, "House!"

"Yes I can so obviously see you've changed. The horns on your head have joined and formed a halo."

"I did say I changed but I never said it was permanent. My leaf changing is rapid. I am incredibly versatile."

The duo watched as Cuddy angrily made her way down the hall way.

"I don't think those outstretched arms are trying to embrace me though," House commented.

"They seem to want to grab your neck."

"House when I get my hands on you-" growled Cuddy, almost reaching her destination.

"Would love to see that happen Cuddy," House shouted. "I know how magical your hands are, but I really have to run."

House began hurriedly limping down the corridor, turning a corner to find a safe hide-out. Cuddy lividly stamped after him muttering an assortment of curses and murder methods.

**--------------------**

"For a cripple you actually run amazingly fast," panted Cuddy, when she finally caught up with him.

"I won the gold medal in the limp-a-thon. Set a new world record. Babes were throwing themselves at me."

"Was this your grand plan? Was this what you wanted? Thanks to you again, we may have lost 10 million _again_. Yesterday was bad enough."

"Did he not put out?"

"Shut up. The fact that the paperwork pertaining to the expenses of the hospital were in shreds, the files with all the important figures deleted and the seemingly disorganisation of my desk and that perfectly place coffee stain on my blouse, didn't really leave the best impression. And I heard what you said to him."

House looked gleeful. "You're way too easy."

"This is not a game House. This is a hospital. This could have meant that 100 people live instead of die. Are you that –"

But her furious rant suddenly stopped and something strange occurred. Cuddy stopped shouting and took several deep breaths. The anger from her livid face had dissipated replaced with something calm and serene.

House was bewildered and truthfully a tad scared. He had seen fuming mad Cuddy and irritated resigned Cuddy and even recently drunk and horny Cuddy but never calm and tranquil Cuddy when he had potentially cost the hospital this much money.

"Is that the best you've got? Delete some files, go through my emails, catch me off guard. That's pathetic and you know you're right I am good at what I'm do. I might not be as great a doctor as you but I am a good Dean and I can sweet talk my way to anything and I do wear low cut tops because it helps. I can get this donation back and I can beat you."

**--------------------**

"She's going to win," Wilson said walking in to an introspective House.

"How do you even know?"

"Word gets around." He shrugged.

"You have to stop stalking me. I'm over you."

"You went to her baby. You went to the most precious thing that she cares about. It's the donations she needs, it's in the core you screwed up and she was only temporarily ruffled. I thought she would have fired you or killed you for what you just did. You put the whole hospital in jeopardy and I can tell you we could definitely use that money and this time for just a bet."

"Is that all you think I'm capable for? I'm offended. I'm just getting started."

"She's going to win. She's put up with you for so long and anyone else would have kicked your ass out a long time ago. She's going to win. She completely blew you off."

"Care to make this interesting then?"

Wilson considered and agreed. "Why are you smiling?"

"I _always_ win."

However, there was an irritating thought at the back of his head that reminded him that he really thought that this would really tug the Cuddy button and it hadn't even touched it. She had completely blew him off and the irritating thing was that he was strangely intrigued. No one ever challenged House. He scared them off. They were meant to be frightened but Cuddy…Cuddy was different. He loved a challenge and nobody could deny that Cuddy was the biggest challenge. But he knew he would win. He always won. But there was something in Cuddy's eye that told him this was going to be a hard fight.

But then again, what could _she_ possibly do?

If only he knew.

**--------------------**

I am so **sorry**. It has been ages I know since I last posted. I apologise profusely and hope everybody still continues reading. I really have just been a bit lax and my muse is for some reason angry at me and won't pay be a visit. And also, you know how real life just rears its ugly head. I have been dealing with some unpleasant things at home. But thank you for waiting and **thank you** to all who reviewed. It really made me indescribably happy.

**FoxyWombat: **Hehehe, it's certainly going to be fun!

**ScarlettScribble: **Thank so much for the review! I know I loved your fic and I just think that Cuddy and House would just be the sort to play these sort of mind games. Oh yeah, House probably will be dead by the end of the fic with what he's planned to do. ;)

**christina jean: **Thanks, I try to keep as IC as possible. I love Wilson! I can't leave him out. He is just adorable and lovable.

**HouseAddiction: **I love your review! They seriously light up my day. I think I've been a bit slack at my end of our agreement. I promise faster update. :)

**LindafromItaly: **Thanks a lot for the review!!

**house plus cuddy: **Thank you! Hope you keep reading!

**Thyla: **Haha, lots of misery for House. Hell hath no fury like a women scorned and Cuddy has definitely been scorned.

**CrypticPassword: **Yay! I love how you're converted. I love your reviews! And your stories as well. Keep writing.

**RogueButterfly: **yep, the face off is so interesting. Gives so much scope for sexual tension and potentially interesting things to happen.

**Fairieangel: **Thanks for your review. :)

**jackie c2: **Dum..dum..dum. I don't know who will win. You'll just have to read and find out. :P

**Steeldust-01: **Thanks for the compliment. Made me smile so much!

**Llcatz: **Thank you! Keep reading!

**sinister scribe: **Well hope this doesn't disappoint. Sorry for the wait!

**mj0621:** One of my favourite reviewers! And you know what _you _have to do to make me update sooner:P

**littleearthquake: **Wow, so honoured that this was your first House fic and it didn't leave a bad impression. Thanks so much for your review!

**Em: **Thanks for the reviews! Much appreciated!

**DancingDivaXX: **That's ok. Thanks for reviewing at all!

Thanks to everyone and keep reading and drop a review to tell me how I'm going. Okay, I'm going to do some shameless plugging here. If you have time read my other House fic "Love is Crippled". It's much angstier but still House/Cuddy with a tiny bit of Wilson later, just to spice it up.

Thanks again everyone.

-schokolade

P.S I have no medical knowledge or expertise or anything but I felt that since it's a House fic it would be unrealistic to have no medical cases in it. The net is a wonderful thing. Keep reading and reviewing.


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